10 Things That Make More Sense Than This New York Times Editorial

10 Things That Make More Sense Than This New York Times Editorial

Today the New York Times ran an editorial explaining why we should leave Afghanistan post haste.

Here’s three things you need to know about that piece:

1. It ignores bright people like Vanda Felbab-Brown, who have explained in exquisite detail what it’s really going to take to get out of Afghanistan.

2. It somehow manages to blame Bush for this mess. But also Obama. With poor explanations for either. Oh, and this isn’t exactly a huge shift for the Times.

3. The Times, in posting this, and explaining its position, continues to maintain that it is a paper worth reading.

This conclusion represents a change on our part. The war in Afghanistan had powerful support at the outset, including ours, after the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.

Let us be clear: you hire people like Friedman and Kristof to write (regularly) incoherent and simplistic analysis of truly troubling world events. There is no high ground that any thinking person wants to share with the Times. (Caveat: with apologies to some of the fine folks who cover things for the Times — it’s not your fault you work for a paper whose editorial slant seems intent in publishing opinion that can still be understood by an 8th grade study hall after cookies and Kool-Aid).

So that’s what’s wrong with the piece, but there are things in this world that make more sense than this op-ed.

Here are 10 of them.

1. Bronies: Yes, they’re a little odd, but hey, they’re harmless. And Little Ponies make people feel good.

2. Anyone (looking at you, conservatives) getting excited over whatever-would-be-worse-than-a-train-wreck-since-she-left-train-wreck-miles-behind Lindsay Lohan supporting Romney. She was in Parent Trap. And Herbie. Given the GOP fixation on old stuff, this makes sense.

3. Speaking of old stuff: Clint Eastwood arguing with a chair. OK, maybe not that.

4. Calling the Cowboys America’s Team. Shout out to my Texas peeps, but there’s a big ol’ star on the helmets. There’s 50 stars on the American flag. Coincidence? Are you kidding me?

5. LOLcats. No, there’s no explaining why those things are hilarious, but laughing at that still makes more sense than this editorial.

Yes. This is adorable. (via LOLcats)

6. The fact that Keith Richards isn’t dead yet. The man’s so full of drugs, his body just doesn’t know what to do, so it keeps moving.

7. Italian snobbery. If you’re not an Italian (and I am not), and you’re in Italy, you always feel somewhat inferior. Let’s review: cars, clothes, and the Pope. Italians do have the cool points stacked pretty high.

8. Monster trucks. Nothing quite sums up America like obnoxiously large stadiums filled with obnoxiously large trucks. This makes sense to me.

Yes. It’s a ridiculously large truck. I do not see your point.

9. Snoop Dogg selling out to Hot Pockets. The man’s been a stoner icon for years. Might as well give ‘em an anthem. Now grade schoolers everywhere can scream out “That’s my jam!” at lunchtime.

10. Christian Bales’ Batman voice. Sure, it’s silly, but would you take Batman seriously if he sounded like John Connor? OK, maybe, but you get my point.

Not your best work, Times editors. Maybe you should just stick to what you know: quoting cabbies and naming rape victims. Leave the really smart stuff to Boot and Co. over at Commentary.

 

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